September 27th came around quickly. The major concern on my mind was the cost of the hospital, and how we were going to pay for it. I wanted to leave, oh boy did I want to leave.
Sarah was mostly immoble. Due to the surgery, her ability to lift herself up was gone, and would return over time. I was very mobile, very vocal, and the hospital knew.
Sometime that afternoon, the hospital actually sent a relations specialist or some such thing to our room to discuss payment and how they could help. They offered state assistance, and followed that up with "you have to write your income, but we don't verify it." I rejected this idea immediately, which still left me in a concerned state.
Meanwhile, our baby boy is nameless, and needs a pediatrician to come check him out to verify his ability to be alive.
To this point in our parenting lives, we have taken all of our children to the same pediatrician that I was taken to when I was a child. The reason? It's the only one I knew of. You know the drill right? Regular appointments every so often, a vaccination schedule- the usual rigamorole. We did this mostly, but Sarah and I never subscribed to the wellness baby checkups because all of our children were healthy, and we didn't know why it cost $150 to know that our baby's head was in the 90th percentile. Nor did we do anything with the information. I don't even have any of that information framed around my house even now!!
So, because our son was born so unexpectedly, and our midwife could not release us from the hospital the way a pediatrician can, AND because we weren't going to be in a hospital this time, we had to contact our regular baby doctor to tell them of this birth.
A few hours pass.
In comes the doctor.
For what seemed like an hour, the doctor began lecturing Sarah and I on the ills of our lack of scheduling appointments with their office. He referenced how Madalyn our almost 4 year old hadn't seen the doctor very often, and we had ignored their advice on vaccinations, and appointments. He even mentioned that before coming to the hospital to see our son, he had considered telling us he wasn't going to come and help us any longer because we posed a greater risk to the other children they are taking care of at their practice. (Since our children weren't vaccinated the way others were, when our kids are in the office, we give the other children risks that they wouldn't have if our children were up to date.) As the conversation, which was mostly one way, continued, Sarah started crying, and I knew that I had to step up and take over the conversation, which I did. I simply told the doctor, that we weren't against any steps they wanted to take, necessarily, and that we did take our children to other places to get shots. Mainly all I wanted was for him to be quiet, do his job, and leave us alone. I didn't need a lecture, nor did my wife need any feedback from a doctor we didn't plan to see, nor did we expect to be treated like a 16 year old mother and father who had never had any children together, and had barely had sex to begin with. What a trying hour this was.
Finally, he stopped. He began to look over the baby with no name, and moved his arms, legs, made him cry, and the like. Typical. "Get done with it already, doc, leave my son alone," I'm sure I thought. When it seemed that things were just about done, he said, "I think I hear a little clicking sound near his heart."
I think my heart skipped a beat just then. I didn't believe him, nor did I want to given the lecture we just had. He passed it off as something that may or may not be serious. Doctors have a way of saying something terrible, and making you feel like it isn't that bad when it is terrifying, and potentially destructive. This is what this doctor did. He said he'd have some other doctor look at it.
Then he left.
I was objecting to everything that was happening on the inside knowing that there were factors outside of me that I could not control. Knowing that God was in control of all these other factors helped more than I can say; however, in the middle of the circumstance, that wasn't the first thing on my mind. Denial was probably first, then anger. After some venting, the bulwark of my faith had to show up, or it must not be there at all. Sovereign means sovereign, and I needed that.
Later on, yet another person came in to wheel our son out, and give him some test. I think I was at work briefly that day. When I returned to the room, Sarah was doing ok, our son was there, and Sarah told me a test was done. "Ok." I thought.
A blonde woman walked in the room demanding attention. She introduced herself, and said she had the results of the test they had run on our son. Sarah and I were seated on chairs with the window of the room to our backs. She pulled up a chair and sat in the middle of the two of us, and told us that our son had a bicuspid valve in his heart, and that it was working just fine; however, that over time these things tend to get worse. She told us that if things got worse, they would gradually change, and he wouldn't turn blue in the face one day and fall over. She also told us that people have issues like this and live a long time, and even don't know they have it. She then produced a printout from Wikipedia quoting some information about bicuspid valves, and various consequences of them. On the Wikipedia handout, there were some pictures of hearts, and other things. Based on the information she gave us, first of all, we were in shock. I was unhappy with the hospital, pediatrician, and now they have thrown another doctor at us? This was not sitting well with me. When I could gain composure, I asked her if things were ok, if he'd have to see a doctor at all. Her response is still shocking to me today. She said, "Well, yes, he'll have to see a doctor the rest of his life, and we're the only pediatric cardiology in Kalamazoo, so he'll be seeing me."
This didn't help. I don't like one option, and I don't like being told I have one option when I know there must be more. Furthermore, I didn't appreciate the lack of professionalism in printing Wikipedia pages from the internet. I could do that from home.
September 27th was more difficult than the day before in many ways. I knew that God was in control, and I didn't doubt him. I didn't know what He was doing or why. It was hard encapsulate what had happened in the past 40 hours. I definitely wasn't ready to talk about it. I didn't talk about this for a very long time.
People came to the hospital to see our son with no name. We were glad to visit with friends from church, other friends, and family for sure, but we couldn't talk about these things yet. We just weren't ready.
Sarah and I had never struggled with a name this much before. Audrey's name was chosen long before she arrived, and Haley was in the middle of her pregnancy. Brett's name was right in line right up to his birth, and with fluttering eyelids, I got that one through. Madalyn's name was carefully chosen, and ready as her birth was scheduled. This little baby had produced more anxiety and surprise than any other child thus far, and the downfall was that it took over 60 hours to find a name suitable for his little person.
No matter what came, God did this. He created my son. He crafted him special- just like every other baby. He formed my baby from inside the womb.
Pro 11:14b "In abundance of counselors there is safety."
Ps 139:13 "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb."
Father of mine, oh come and see
We are lost, destitute, and not free.
We cannot leave this dark place
We need store upon store of your grace.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Friday, March 8, 2013
Sorrowful, yet Rejoicing (Part 3)
It seems that once we got off the plane in Detroit, the next 156 days would rush past more quickly and more dramatically than any other period like it.
From September 3 to September 25th, nothing out of the ordinary took place. We took our kids to school, went to work, and attended church. The next thing on our mind was October 12th, and our fifth little baby.
Sarah woke up at 2 am on September 26th. She was bleeding. I was startled into consciousness, turned on the light, and Sarah was focused on blood in the bed, and the constant leaking that pursued. She went downstairs, and called the midwife from the bathroom. I was trying to calm her down, and tell her this is ok, we're just going to have a baby. (Having seen 4 births, and participating in all of them, I know there is blood involved)
She didn't think so.
The midwife called us back quickly, but was out of town on vacation. She told us to call her assistant. We did, and she arrived at our house from Vicksburg in about 15 minutes. (Some record!) Sarah continued to bleed, and concern was building- both from the midwife and from Sarah. I wasn't convinced. I have a "We've got this" attitude until you really prove me wrong.
Going back in time about a year, Sarah and I made a major transition in our lives. We left a church that we had been raised in. This was not easy, nor was the decision taken lightly. Part of the reason for that change was our believing that our sovereign God is not just loving, kind, compassionate, just, and righteous, but that His being sovereign meant that He is in control of every situation in a way that He is bringing it to pass. We don't believe God established laws or order, and then let us make decisions apart from Him. He is in control of everything, and everything that happens has been designed by Him.
I say all that to say that this knowledge of God based on what He says about Himself in His Word was a great balm to my soul and spirit throughout September 26th, and all the days that followed.
The days didn't get easier.
We contacted Caleb, our good friend who lives about 8 minutes away. He got up and arrived quickly. He was bleary-eyed, and exhausted, and was now assigned the task of watching 4 children immediately without much warning. We left Caleb, I'm sure, in a state of disbelief, and wonder.
The midwife encouraged us to go to the hospital to see what the doctors there would say. I don't like hospitals. I've been locked up in hospitals many times and for reasons that I don't agree with. Driving to the hospital when our plan was to have this baby at home felt like a dagger. See ya later, Caleb.
We were supposed to be happy though! On this special day when God would choose to bring our son into the world, we were plagued with worry, blood, a hospital, and payments to midwives who would never have to do much work to earn what they were paid. Is God really in control of this nightmare?
Sure enough, the doctors sat Sarah down, and ran several tests, and told us not only do they not advise us to go home and deliver this baby, but they were going to help that little baby come out.
We've never delivered a baby unnaturally. I think this was the beginning of God speaking softly and telling us that just like recorded Scripture, he doesn't always do things "naturally."
When Sarah heard we were going to have a C section, she started crying. I was mad. I don't like doing things that I don't like to do. Make sense doesn't it? I'm the father, I'm paying the bills, I make the decisions, but God took this one from me, and it was very hard to deal with even as my son was being delivered.
I dressed up with scrubs, and waited in the hallway for what seemed like hours. I could hear Sarah moan after an injection which I knew she hated. Previous injections in the same area had caused the skin to be very sensitive, and now they were doing it all over again. My mind was swirling with frustrating thoughts, anger, "Why would God do this" complaints, and "Why am I in the hallway? I'm her husband, I should be there with her right now, don't you make me sit here all by myself in the hallway."
But there was nothing I could do, and I knew it. God has ways to prohibit the action of his people, and in this case, he did it using other people in a deliverance that I didn't even want.
Some time later, I was summoned into the surgery/deliver room. All I could see was Sarah's head and a blue blanket held up with clips blocking their work from Sarah's and my eyes. I held her hand.
I held her hand.
This was not easy.
I heard a baby.
Oh the tears that come to my eyes as I write this, and the tears that flowed when he arrived. In spite of all the hardship, stress, and anger, my son was crying, and I could hold him. Sarah couldn't move until they finished their surgery.
He weighed 7 pounds and 7 ounces. It was 6:15 am.
I took pictures, and smiled. I've only had one other boy. This seemed new all over again.
I had to write people at work to cancel appointments I had set for that day, and people understood, but boy did they not know what 2 am to 6 am was like. I didn't know if I even wanted to tell anyone.
I held my son next to my skin knowing that he probably would be the last one I would ever hold at such a young age.
Sarah was wheeled into the room I was in which was just a post-surgery room before we could get to the jailroom we'd be in the next several days.
I sent a message to my brother and Staci who were planning on being here BEFORE the birth to help. They were surprised. We contacted a few other people, posted on facebook, intended to call parents and then my phone died. We had no phone and no way to contact people until about 4 pm that day.
Sarah was finally able to hold him.
In the months preceding this, and in the flurry of activity, our son didn't have a name.
Proverbs 22:1 "A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold."
You didn't let us go our way.
You blocked our path that September day.
Oh, help us trust you and name our boy
A name for you, and for your joy.
From September 3 to September 25th, nothing out of the ordinary took place. We took our kids to school, went to work, and attended church. The next thing on our mind was October 12th, and our fifth little baby.
Sarah woke up at 2 am on September 26th. She was bleeding. I was startled into consciousness, turned on the light, and Sarah was focused on blood in the bed, and the constant leaking that pursued. She went downstairs, and called the midwife from the bathroom. I was trying to calm her down, and tell her this is ok, we're just going to have a baby. (Having seen 4 births, and participating in all of them, I know there is blood involved)
She didn't think so.
The midwife called us back quickly, but was out of town on vacation. She told us to call her assistant. We did, and she arrived at our house from Vicksburg in about 15 minutes. (Some record!) Sarah continued to bleed, and concern was building- both from the midwife and from Sarah. I wasn't convinced. I have a "We've got this" attitude until you really prove me wrong.
Going back in time about a year, Sarah and I made a major transition in our lives. We left a church that we had been raised in. This was not easy, nor was the decision taken lightly. Part of the reason for that change was our believing that our sovereign God is not just loving, kind, compassionate, just, and righteous, but that His being sovereign meant that He is in control of every situation in a way that He is bringing it to pass. We don't believe God established laws or order, and then let us make decisions apart from Him. He is in control of everything, and everything that happens has been designed by Him.
I say all that to say that this knowledge of God based on what He says about Himself in His Word was a great balm to my soul and spirit throughout September 26th, and all the days that followed.
The days didn't get easier.
We contacted Caleb, our good friend who lives about 8 minutes away. He got up and arrived quickly. He was bleary-eyed, and exhausted, and was now assigned the task of watching 4 children immediately without much warning. We left Caleb, I'm sure, in a state of disbelief, and wonder.
The midwife encouraged us to go to the hospital to see what the doctors there would say. I don't like hospitals. I've been locked up in hospitals many times and for reasons that I don't agree with. Driving to the hospital when our plan was to have this baby at home felt like a dagger. See ya later, Caleb.
We were supposed to be happy though! On this special day when God would choose to bring our son into the world, we were plagued with worry, blood, a hospital, and payments to midwives who would never have to do much work to earn what they were paid. Is God really in control of this nightmare?
Sure enough, the doctors sat Sarah down, and ran several tests, and told us not only do they not advise us to go home and deliver this baby, but they were going to help that little baby come out.
We've never delivered a baby unnaturally. I think this was the beginning of God speaking softly and telling us that just like recorded Scripture, he doesn't always do things "naturally."
When Sarah heard we were going to have a C section, she started crying. I was mad. I don't like doing things that I don't like to do. Make sense doesn't it? I'm the father, I'm paying the bills, I make the decisions, but God took this one from me, and it was very hard to deal with even as my son was being delivered.
I dressed up with scrubs, and waited in the hallway for what seemed like hours. I could hear Sarah moan after an injection which I knew she hated. Previous injections in the same area had caused the skin to be very sensitive, and now they were doing it all over again. My mind was swirling with frustrating thoughts, anger, "Why would God do this" complaints, and "Why am I in the hallway? I'm her husband, I should be there with her right now, don't you make me sit here all by myself in the hallway."
But there was nothing I could do, and I knew it. God has ways to prohibit the action of his people, and in this case, he did it using other people in a deliverance that I didn't even want.
Some time later, I was summoned into the surgery/deliver room. All I could see was Sarah's head and a blue blanket held up with clips blocking their work from Sarah's and my eyes. I held her hand.
I held her hand.
This was not easy.
I heard a baby.
Oh the tears that come to my eyes as I write this, and the tears that flowed when he arrived. In spite of all the hardship, stress, and anger, my son was crying, and I could hold him. Sarah couldn't move until they finished their surgery.
He weighed 7 pounds and 7 ounces. It was 6:15 am.
I took pictures, and smiled. I've only had one other boy. This seemed new all over again.
I had to write people at work to cancel appointments I had set for that day, and people understood, but boy did they not know what 2 am to 6 am was like. I didn't know if I even wanted to tell anyone.
I held my son next to my skin knowing that he probably would be the last one I would ever hold at such a young age.
Sarah was wheeled into the room I was in which was just a post-surgery room before we could get to the jailroom we'd be in the next several days.
I sent a message to my brother and Staci who were planning on being here BEFORE the birth to help. They were surprised. We contacted a few other people, posted on facebook, intended to call parents and then my phone died. We had no phone and no way to contact people until about 4 pm that day.
Sarah was finally able to hold him.
In the months preceding this, and in the flurry of activity, our son didn't have a name.
Proverbs 22:1 "A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold."
You didn't let us go our way.
You blocked our path that September day.
Oh, help us trust you and name our boy
A name for you, and for your joy.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Zechariah in utero (Part 2)
One of the complications of our unplanned pregnanacy was our pending trip to disney in early September. I won the trip through a contest at work, and didn't take it until labor day weekend. Sarah had done research and discovered that is actually a slow time for them. That's the exact time to go! With a due date of October 12th, the trip was planned for about 5 weeks before his pending arrival.
The other complication was insurance. We specifically choose our insurance, it is not an employee benefit. Because we were done having children, we didn't choose any coverage for pregnancy. This was an early concern. After researching options, we discovered our best bet with insurance would increase our monthly premium by over $800. This seemed a bit excessive, and we kept our options open.
I have a sister in law who is a practicing midwife in Idaho, and the thought occurred to Sarah and I to go with a home birth and use a midwife. After all, every one of our four children was naturally delivered, and this would be no exception. Home births are much much less expensive to top it all off. We contacted Staci about the same time as I had told my brother Matt, and were considering hiring her to come here and manage the birth. Due to travel, cost, and prenatal information requirements, we were encouraged to hire someone locally. Staci still wanted to come, and so Matt and Staci planned to be here a few weeks before the birth, and to stay and help afterwards as well.
So, the search began. Sarah did the searching, I kept on asking. We contacted a midwife in Battle Creek who is well known in the area, but wouldn't drive to Lawton. There was another option that was much closer, but we didn't like the new age, "hippie" style of that one. When we thought all was lost, and perhaps no one would service the Lawton area, God solved it for us. He pointed us to a midwife from Sturgis, about an hour south of here that would drive to our home for all of the prenatal appointments, and would deliver in our home. She had an assistant who lived in Vicksburg who could get to Lawton in a hurry if she had to. So, we hired them.
$2,500 paid in monthly payments over the prenatal period was a lot cheaper than $800 per month with copays and deductibles.
I met with Sarah and the midwives at the first appointment, came to the agreement mentioned above, and went back outside rototilling the garden in a way that would make my Grandpa Taplin proud.
Appointments hummed along ok, God was providing funds to pay for the delivery through my work, and we were looking forward to a home birth- something we never thought we would do.
Because we were footing the bill for whatever we chose, we opted for an ultrasound down in Fort Wayne that we could pay "over the counter" for. This ultra sound gave us gender. On June 16th, God told us He had given us a son. I think the whole family knew it anyway.
As we came closer to the Florida trip, the midwife gave us her ok to go, and so all seven of us went to Florida the weekend of Labor day. We left August 31st, and returned September 3rd. We had a wonderful time. We ran from the last ride at Animal Kingdom to the bus, and from there we got on a plane- back to Detroit.
Only 5 weeks to go.
Psalm 5:12: "For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield."
Psalm 29:11: "May the LORD give strength to his people! May the LORD bless his people with peace!"
O great God, you had a son,
And have given us more than one.
We love this child, the baby so small
We'll learn to trust you after all.
The other complication was insurance. We specifically choose our insurance, it is not an employee benefit. Because we were done having children, we didn't choose any coverage for pregnancy. This was an early concern. After researching options, we discovered our best bet with insurance would increase our monthly premium by over $800. This seemed a bit excessive, and we kept our options open.
I have a sister in law who is a practicing midwife in Idaho, and the thought occurred to Sarah and I to go with a home birth and use a midwife. After all, every one of our four children was naturally delivered, and this would be no exception. Home births are much much less expensive to top it all off. We contacted Staci about the same time as I had told my brother Matt, and were considering hiring her to come here and manage the birth. Due to travel, cost, and prenatal information requirements, we were encouraged to hire someone locally. Staci still wanted to come, and so Matt and Staci planned to be here a few weeks before the birth, and to stay and help afterwards as well.
So, the search began. Sarah did the searching, I kept on asking. We contacted a midwife in Battle Creek who is well known in the area, but wouldn't drive to Lawton. There was another option that was much closer, but we didn't like the new age, "hippie" style of that one. When we thought all was lost, and perhaps no one would service the Lawton area, God solved it for us. He pointed us to a midwife from Sturgis, about an hour south of here that would drive to our home for all of the prenatal appointments, and would deliver in our home. She had an assistant who lived in Vicksburg who could get to Lawton in a hurry if she had to. So, we hired them.
$2,500 paid in monthly payments over the prenatal period was a lot cheaper than $800 per month with copays and deductibles.
I met with Sarah and the midwives at the first appointment, came to the agreement mentioned above, and went back outside rototilling the garden in a way that would make my Grandpa Taplin proud.
Appointments hummed along ok, God was providing funds to pay for the delivery through my work, and we were looking forward to a home birth- something we never thought we would do.
Because we were footing the bill for whatever we chose, we opted for an ultrasound down in Fort Wayne that we could pay "over the counter" for. This ultra sound gave us gender. On June 16th, God told us He had given us a son. I think the whole family knew it anyway.
As we came closer to the Florida trip, the midwife gave us her ok to go, and so all seven of us went to Florida the weekend of Labor day. We left August 31st, and returned September 3rd. We had a wonderful time. We ran from the last ride at Animal Kingdom to the bus, and from there we got on a plane- back to Detroit.
Only 5 weeks to go.
Psalm 5:12: "For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield."
Psalm 29:11: "May the LORD give strength to his people! May the LORD bless his people with peace!"
O great God, you had a son,
And have given us more than one.
We love this child, the baby so small
We'll learn to trust you after all.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
God's choice of Zechariah
This post will be the first of 12 posts describing in detail my wife Sarah's and my "ride" from pregnancy to the Devos Children's Hospital last month. Sitting at work one Friday morning, these several dates and events kept coming to mind, and with each step, I thought the story was quite compelling, and one that God might use both for my own sake, for my (his) children's sake, and perhaps others. I hope that it is challenging and encouraging for you.
Spring 2012- Sarah and I have four children. We were satisfied with four children. We had no plans to have more than four children. Life is expected. Plans are made and followed through- generally speaking. There was nothing upsetting our apple cart. Audrey, Haley and Brett were finishing school, and Madalyn was three years old, and not in school yet. She was the only one home with Mom after the rest were dropped off from school. When Madalyn turned 18, I'd be 48, and all my kids would be out of the house (ish), and we could be free-sorta like that brief, ever so brief, period between marriage and our first child- of which I can hardly recall.
Our plans weren't God's plans. I was 32 years old. Four children is a lot of kids. Everyone thinks you're crazy. (Well, until we started attending RBC) You just get used to it, and figure that since you are in your thirties, there is no need to mess around anymore. If one was to have a fifth child, it should have been born more closely to the time of baby #4. Goodness, at this time, we still called Madalyn, "Baby." She was almost 4!!
Modern wisdom's vote was against us. God was with us in a way we didn't expect.
Sarah didn't want to use a monthly prescription to prohibit more children, so we were watching calendars, and keeping track. As a logical person, and with a joint plan, there was no way we were going to get pregnant.
God used a special circumstance to lower our "guard" in order to produce a child. Details are personal; however, the logical person I am was compromised, and the "no more children" Sarah was weakened.
A while later, Sarah was late, and panic set in. This wasn't happening. One day Sarah bought a test, and I came home to the news. I knew already, I just did. Tears, laughter, shock, surprise- many emotions visited us that day. We didn't know what to do, or who would believe us if we told them.
The very next day, I had to call my brother. He responded pretty well. I swore him to secrecy except for Staci his wife. I came home and told Sarah that I had told Matt.
I'm not sure how much time elapsed from that day until the next "revealing."
One night, we had Clay, Jessica, and Caleb over. Many people did not know the news. We told them. Caleb was pretty pleased that he was "in the know" early on with news like this. Jessica started crying. We felt embarrassed in a way, yet happy. It was good to tell others.
On April 23rd, we told our 4 children. The revelation was videoed and posted on facebook. Haley's immediate response was, "No, that's not true." We received blank strares for a bit. I think they finally believed us when Sarah stood up and pointed at her belly. Giggles, laughter, and kicking legs ensued.
God had blessed us again as He says in the Scriptures:
Psalm 127:3-5: "Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warriors are the children's of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."
Proverbs 18:22: "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD."
Isaiah 55:9: "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Feeling blessed, nervous, and surprised, we sought to handle this pregnancy in a way we had never thought of before.....
O God you took us by surprise
You sought to turn away our eyes
From things on earth and planned out days
To cause us to know your hand and ways.
Spring 2012- Sarah and I have four children. We were satisfied with four children. We had no plans to have more than four children. Life is expected. Plans are made and followed through- generally speaking. There was nothing upsetting our apple cart. Audrey, Haley and Brett were finishing school, and Madalyn was three years old, and not in school yet. She was the only one home with Mom after the rest were dropped off from school. When Madalyn turned 18, I'd be 48, and all my kids would be out of the house (ish), and we could be free-sorta like that brief, ever so brief, period between marriage and our first child- of which I can hardly recall.
Our plans weren't God's plans. I was 32 years old. Four children is a lot of kids. Everyone thinks you're crazy. (Well, until we started attending RBC) You just get used to it, and figure that since you are in your thirties, there is no need to mess around anymore. If one was to have a fifth child, it should have been born more closely to the time of baby #4. Goodness, at this time, we still called Madalyn, "Baby." She was almost 4!!
Modern wisdom's vote was against us. God was with us in a way we didn't expect.
Sarah didn't want to use a monthly prescription to prohibit more children, so we were watching calendars, and keeping track. As a logical person, and with a joint plan, there was no way we were going to get pregnant.
God used a special circumstance to lower our "guard" in order to produce a child. Details are personal; however, the logical person I am was compromised, and the "no more children" Sarah was weakened.
A while later, Sarah was late, and panic set in. This wasn't happening. One day Sarah bought a test, and I came home to the news. I knew already, I just did. Tears, laughter, shock, surprise- many emotions visited us that day. We didn't know what to do, or who would believe us if we told them.
The very next day, I had to call my brother. He responded pretty well. I swore him to secrecy except for Staci his wife. I came home and told Sarah that I had told Matt.
I'm not sure how much time elapsed from that day until the next "revealing."
One night, we had Clay, Jessica, and Caleb over. Many people did not know the news. We told them. Caleb was pretty pleased that he was "in the know" early on with news like this. Jessica started crying. We felt embarrassed in a way, yet happy. It was good to tell others.
On April 23rd, we told our 4 children. The revelation was videoed and posted on facebook. Haley's immediate response was, "No, that's not true." We received blank strares for a bit. I think they finally believed us when Sarah stood up and pointed at her belly. Giggles, laughter, and kicking legs ensued.
God had blessed us again as He says in the Scriptures:
Psalm 127:3-5: "Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warriors are the children's of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."
Proverbs 18:22: "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD."
Isaiah 55:9: "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Feeling blessed, nervous, and surprised, we sought to handle this pregnancy in a way we had never thought of before.....
O God you took us by surprise
You sought to turn away our eyes
From things on earth and planned out days
To cause us to know your hand and ways.
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