Having just read my brother’s post from earlier today, I’d
like to add a brother’s perspective.
How
important it has been to me to have a sibling- an older brother in this
case. I love both of my sisters and I
love my parents, but my brother is something different entirely. I have met many friends in various places
since high school, and yet, not one can rival the relationship I have with my
brother. He left town shortly after
graduation, and that didn’t change anything.
He lives 1900 miles west of Lawton, and that doesn’t matter either. I feel that I am pretty good at solving
things alone, and yet I can’t tell you how many times I have called my brother
to get his opinion on a multitude of topics, and he helps me. I’m 36, and I don’t need help, but I need his
help.
Two months after my father in law
was killed in an accident, my brother told me he had cancer. I don’t think I can really describe that time
to you. We prayed for a negative test result for several days, and God didn't not answer how we asked. I can’t explain thinking about
living my “independent” life without my go-to-for-everything brother, and yet I
was at that time. I had to consider
it. It was weighty. My body felt heavy all over again.
There is one thing that helped.
I flew out to Idaho right after the surgery,
and was with my brother and his family for 5 days. That was nice, but that didn’t do it. My presence there couldn’t solve this problem. Discussing with Matt the treatment options
from radiation to chemo to the type of cancer he has helped me explain the likelihood
of results, and to generally get my head around it, but that didn’t solve
anything either. Continuing to talk to
Matt didn’t solve anything either, it was a bandaid. Listening to some other cancer success story
didn’t help. You see, there wasn’t
anything that could solve it. There wasn’t
any final statement or conclusion that could make this thing resolve, and 1900
miles away, I felt helpless, and unable to help. The fact that my brother is my best friend
didn’t help either. Thinking that he is
38 didn’t help. Offering to take his
place in my mind didn’t help either, and I can’t do that anyway.
Through all of this, I considered Jesus.
My brother as my best friend, confidant, and
near twin can’t come close to what I have with Jesus. On the other hand, I don't come close to what he has in Jesus. He was the rock and fortress to David in the
Old testament, and He has been the same to this one. My trust in Jesus Christ rises above my
desire for my brother, for his life and for mine. It was these thoughts from Scripture that were my ballast. The truth of the matter is we would both
rather be with Jesus, but He has us here for now. I rest my life in what Jesus accomplished on
the cross, and I can trust my brother and his cancer to the same one who
conquered death.
Even death kills
cancer, but it couldn’t hold Jesus.
Talking with my brother in the last few months, we have discussed a
story in the Bible of a man born blind.
The disciples ask Jesus why this is the case. They wonder if he sinned or if it was his
parents. Jesus says, “It is not this man
that sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in
him.” You see, it didn’t help the
disciples to look for a cause of the blindness, but a purpose, and Jesus said
the purpose was to see God glorified.
Jesus then healed the man. I don’t
look for a cause for why my brother has cancer.
He has it, and that is God’s will.
We look for the purpose of God through the cancer. What God wants to see is my big brother
praising Him for what He has done during the cancer, and God wants the little
brother to trust the big brother to God with no strings attached. I am proud of my brother for many reasons, but
to see him trust God more gives me pleasure that I can’t explain, and God
himself is pleased.
