Weakness

I played in a softball tournament today in Portage.  I, and a few others that I know, were an "add-on" to an existing team.  We started playing at 9 am, and just finished.  It is 5 pm.  We had four "round-robin" games, and then a playoff game. 

It is very hot today.  It was probably 95 degrees, and when the wind wasn't blowing or moving at all, it felt like a mild oven standing out there in the outfield-especially with a dark blue shirt on. 

I don't know all the guys I was playing with, but have played with them before, and had a good relationship with the team.  My cousin Bill played with us as did my brother in law Clay. 

We were horrible.  Everyone made bad throws.  Everyone missed pitches, got horrible outs, overthrew the ball, and missed catches.  It was an abismal afternoon.  In the last game, we walked out after four innings (being down by a ton of runs), and were ready to be done and out of the tournament, and the other team told us that it couldn't be called a game until after 5 innings.

What a humiliating event!  In the top of the fifth, ball after ball after ball kept rolling under gloves, over heads, between fielders, and it seemed like the game and the tortuous day would never end. 
Alas!  It did!  Only when they had scored too many in one inning, and so they had to let us bat at the bottom of the fifth.  Oh happy day!  All we had to do was get 3 more outs, and we could go home.

Somewhere in the middle of this, I wanted to go home.  I knew we weren't a good enough team to win the whole tournament, and questionably one game.  There was a time in the outfield, that I wanted to just call "Time", and quietly walk up, and take myself out of the game.  From there, I would have walked to my car, and left.

I had this thought, "What would Christ have me learn right now?  What would He be trying to teach me through this humilation game after game after game?"   This is the only thought that kept me there.  I kept going play by play thinking of what Christ would do and teach me.  Should I be angry when a teammate missing a play?  Should I grumble at a call?  Should I just quit?

So now that I am home, I'm trying to "chill out."  There are some verses coming to mind that are helping me do just that.

Why would a softball game have anything to do with Christ?  Christ doesn't teach things on a hot Saturday in Michigan, does He?  How would I know if He was?  Does He speak audibly? 
In order for the paragraph above to make any sense (the "I had this thought" paragraph), and for me to really have relief, I turn to scripture.

2 Corinthians 12-7-10  Paul says, "So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited.  Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me.  But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamaties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

There are a couple things I want to say.

1) Whether you might scoff or blow this off, it is clear in this passage and in all Scripture that God is in complete control of every event.  Every softball that was hit, every play that was blown, every overthrow I made, every score of every game.  My teams thorn today was its poor play.  While that must certainly pale in comparison to Paul's issue, it was a trying time in the hot sun.  If I don't believe that God arranged the entire circumstance, then I would be very frustrated with many decisions and choices by other people.  Because it was God who set this day up, I can't be frustrated with Him.  I need to look to His hand to teach me that in our weakness and inability today on the softball field both individually and collectively, God himself is the power in our lives.  Without Him, we wouldn't be able to stand up, let alone play softball.  I see this in the passage where Paul states that it is a messenger of Satan that is harassing him.  What does Paul do about it?  I don't see that He fights back at people, or even fights back at Satan.  He prays to the God of the universe and asks God to have Satan leave.  Why would Paul ask God unless Satan is ultimately only a lackey?  Satan can only do what God permits him to do.  Those other softball teams could only hit the ball well as long as God permits them to hit it.  Our team will only perform so poorly as long as God allows us to perform poorly.  God controls it.  My anger would only be anger at Him, and how foolish a position that truly is.

2)  Playing softball today the way we did reminds me of my weakness as both a husband, a father, a man, a 32 year old, a softball player, and a person.  God created me in that weakness to show His power to others.  If I react to others in a negative fashion when that ball goes past them, or a strike out, or a missed opportunity, I spurn the God who created me, and tell Him that His power really isn't enough.  We and I should be able to do better, and we don't need as much of God's power as He might think.
Oh, I shake and shudder thinking like that.  How dare we, as his clay hold our fist up to Him, and say, "Why, God, did you make my day like this, or why did you craft me with this inability??"(Romans 9:14-23)

God is not displeased by our weak play or our weaknesses as human beings.  He made us that way; however, he is glorified when we honor Him through our weakness by relying on his power, might, and strength, and trusting Him all along the way.