Sorrowful, yet Rejoicing (Part 3)

It seems that once we got off the plane in Detroit, the next 156 days would rush past more quickly and more dramatically than any other period like it.

From September 3 to September 25th, nothing out of the ordinary took place.  We took our kids to school, went to work, and attended church.  The next thing on our mind was October 12th, and our fifth little baby.

Sarah woke up at 2 am on September 26th.  She was bleeding.  I was startled into consciousness, turned on the light, and Sarah was focused on blood in the bed, and the constant leaking that pursued.  She went downstairs, and called the midwife from the bathroom.  I was trying to calm her down, and tell her this is ok, we're just going to have a baby.  (Having seen 4 births, and participating in all of them, I know there is blood involved)

She didn't think so.

The midwife called us back quickly, but was out of town on vacation.  She told us to call her assistant. We did, and she arrived at our house from Vicksburg in about 15 minutes.  (Some record!)   Sarah continued to bleed, and concern was building- both from the midwife and from Sarah.  I wasn't convinced.  I have a "We've got this" attitude until you really prove me wrong.

Going back in time about a year, Sarah and I made a major transition in our lives.  We left a church that we had been raised in.  This was not easy, nor was the decision taken lightly.  Part of the reason for that change was our believing that our sovereign God is not just loving, kind, compassionate, just, and righteous, but that His being sovereign meant that He is in control of every situation in a way that He is bringing it to pass.  We don't believe God established laws or order, and then let us make decisions apart from Him.  He is in control of everything, and everything that happens has been designed by Him.

I say all that to say that this knowledge of God based on what He says about Himself in His Word was a great balm to my soul and spirit throughout September 26th, and all the days that followed. 

The days didn't get easier.

We contacted Caleb, our good friend who lives about 8 minutes away.  He got up and arrived quickly.  He was bleary-eyed, and exhausted, and was now assigned the task of watching 4 children immediately without much warning.  We left Caleb, I'm sure, in a state of disbelief, and wonder.

The midwife encouraged us to go to the hospital to see what the doctors there would say.  I don't like hospitals.  I've been locked up in hospitals many times and for reasons that I don't agree with.  Driving to the hospital when our plan was to have this baby at home felt like a dagger.  See ya later, Caleb.

We were supposed to be happy though!  On this special day when God would choose to bring our son into the world, we were plagued with worry, blood, a hospital, and payments to midwives who would never have to do much work to earn what they were paid.  Is God really in control of this nightmare?

Sure enough, the doctors sat Sarah down, and ran several tests, and told us not only do they not advise us to go home and deliver this baby, but they were going to help that little baby come out.

We've never delivered a baby unnaturally.  I think this was the beginning of God speaking softly and telling us that just like recorded Scripture, he doesn't always do things "naturally."

When Sarah heard we were going to have a C section, she started crying.  I was mad.  I don't like doing things that I don't like to do.  Make sense doesn't it?  I'm the father, I'm paying the bills, I make the decisions, but God took this one from me, and it was very hard to deal with even as my son was being delivered.

I dressed up with scrubs, and waited in the hallway for what seemed like hours.  I could hear Sarah moan after an injection which I knew she hated.  Previous injections in the same area had caused the skin to be very sensitive, and now they were doing it all over again.  My mind was swirling with frustrating thoughts, anger, "Why would God do this" complaints, and "Why am I in the hallway?  I'm her husband, I should be there with her right now, don't you make me sit here all by myself in the hallway."

But there was nothing I could do, and I knew it.  God has ways to prohibit the action of his people, and in this case, he did it using other people in a deliverance that I didn't even want.

Some time later, I was summoned into the surgery/deliver room.  All I could see was Sarah's head and a blue blanket held up with clips blocking their work from Sarah's and my eyes.  I held her hand.
I held her hand.

This was not easy.

I heard a baby. 

Oh the tears that come to my eyes as I write this, and the tears that flowed when he arrived.  In spite of all the hardship, stress, and anger, my son was crying, and I could hold him.  Sarah couldn't move until they finished their surgery.

He weighed 7 pounds and 7 ounces.  It was 6:15 am.

I took pictures, and smiled.  I've only had one other boy.  This seemed new all over again.

I had to write people at work to cancel appointments I had set for that day, and people understood, but boy did they not know what 2 am to 6 am was like.  I didn't know if I even wanted to tell anyone.

I held my son next to my skin knowing that he probably would be the last one I would ever hold at such a young age.

Sarah was wheeled into the room I was in which was just a post-surgery room before we could get to the jailroom we'd be in the next several days.

I sent a message to my brother and Staci who were planning on being here BEFORE the birth to help.  They were surprised.  We contacted a few other people, posted on facebook, intended to call parents and then my phone died.  We had no phone and no way to contact people until about 4 pm that day.

Sarah was finally able to hold him.

In the months preceding this, and in the flurry of activity, our son didn't have a name.

Proverbs 22:1  "A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold."

You didn't let us go our way.
You blocked our path that September day.
Oh, help us trust you and name our boy
A name for you, and for your joy.